Lost

Lost

In my woods

My woods of despair

My woods of disappointment

It is so hard

And yet you know it

You had it all

You threw it up

You never cared

Although you do

Or for sure seem to

You never care

How I feel

How your actions

And reactions

Reflect on my broken soul

It's hard

Not sure if I'll rezist it

It was beautiful

...almost splendid

And now it's nothing

Just pain

And loss

Went back

Into my old thoughts

Is this good for me?

Or I'm just fooling myself?!

Should I go in?!

Or out?!

And as usual...

You don't even know

How I'm feeling

What I'm longing

You don't ask

You don't say

You're just afraid

Not feeling shamed

Not my intention

To shame you

Au contraire

I secured

All of you

Every piece

Every memory

Every me, in you

Although you never received that

You couldn't appreciate it...

Or maybe you're curious

'bout her intentions

Wondering

Whether she would have done different

Would've you went for that?!

Are you still afraid?!

Of putting your eggs in the same basket

If yes, than this is not for me

Not about me

Can't do anything 'bout it

Just cry and shout

Stay alone

In the dark

Till I'll shine again

In the spotted sun

If you want more

More of me

More of us

More of what you could've had

Not sure what's possible anymore

You'll have to fight

To win me back

To make me forget

The disrespectful attitude

The unspoken

The forgotten

The lies ahead

The mistrust

That came out of that

Of the unspoken

Of the hidden thoughts

And feelings

A great relationship

Doesn't get born

Of MUD!

But out of

Honesty and vulnerability

Especially towards one's inner parts

Out of Trust

Love

And commitment!

Commitment

I thought it's special

And magic

What we have!

Coz every time we're making love...

I feel the magic!

I thought I'm magic

For you

Maybe I was wrong

And gave to much trust

Too pe many credits

When I knew nothing

Although...

On the other hand

I do see you

Your whole

Your empathy

Your suffering

I see your soul

Yet you don't see

Mine

And that fuckin' hurts!!!

It hurts deep down

Till the grave!

We shall not see

The unseen

We shall not cry

The unspoken!

We shall dissolve

Into disaster!

Although

It could've been

A Miracle!

The Miracle of Love

The mirrorball of hope!

We were looking for each other

But you don't fuckin know

What you have

When you have it!

You don't fuckin know who you are

What you want

You just

Fly away

Through the universe

Looking for your broken parts

Of mind and soul!

You cannot comprise

What'a truly important

What'a truly yours

How not to lie yourself!

Out of your good intentions

You tend to dismiss

The most important

They are not there for granted

They are not there, for life!

I shall leave you

Have your own way

Your own process

Of getting through

I know I cannot

Do anything

By force

Or by will!

Neither do I want it

I just want you

To want me

To show me

To tell me

To be your true self

Next to me!

You need to own it

You need to gather

Your Own worth

And fight

For what you want

For what, you really,

Care!

See who you are!

And if it's not me...

Just tell me

Just tell me the truth!

Then all the other

Will unfold

The truth is liberating

Always...

Even when we think it might hurt

And clarity

Gives us meaning

Gives us direction

"Goodbye, my love

It's hard to die!"

Maybe other love

Will be reborn!

Shall we be able!

Shall we be stars

That do not die

As soon as an asteroid

Hits them, in plain!

But not like this

I know my worth

I know my offer

I just want you, naked

In cold truth

And vulnerability!

The way I feel you!

Not the way you try,

To pretend!

For me,

It's good enough to be yourself

But it's up to you

To know yourself!

To love yourself!